I understand that terms like “fag” and “gay” are often used in a “joking” manner. When you use them, you probably don’t do so maliciously, and certainly not in a way to purposely offend or insult homosexuals. You, like many, may use the words without even thinking twice about it. Sometimes it just slips, it’s an easy insult. It’s almost a habit, right? Well, even if this is the case, it doesn’t make it okay.
First of all, let’s start with the obvious fact that “gay” often doesn’t even make sense in most contexts in which it is used to describe something or someone. Take for example when you are hanging around with your friends and you say something along the lines of, “Why won’t you come out tonight? Stop being gay.” There is nothing gay about staying in. You mean stop being lazy? Anti-social? Lame? Is there really no better adjective you can find in your brain to use… one that is not only more politically correct but also more accurate for the point you’re trying to make?
Before we go too far, let’s address what prompted this discussion. While VH1’s ‘Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood’ season 4 is well under way on our television screens, some of you may not know that the cast is still actively filming footage that we will see later on in the season. Newcomer to the franchise and reality television veteran Ray Cunningham took to Twitter last night to blast Fetty Wap’s former jumpoff, fellow cast mate Alexis Sky, after she apparently called him a “faggot” during an upcoming argument that will take place on the show.
New #LHHH cast member @MissterRay looses it, calls Alexis sky a cunt and threatens to "snatch the thot out of her spirit" Messy 3xs ???♂️ pic.twitter.com/dvWrfKrimZ
— New Blog ? (@BestRealityBlog) August 13, 2017
“I normally try my best not to get in female drama, but when b*tches wanna call me out of my name & threaten to put their hands on me, YOU’RE MY ISSUE NOW,” Ray tweeted before continuing, “Call me a faggot again b*tch, and I’m going to snatch the thot out of your spirit. You disrespectful CUNT.”
Now, surely Alexis who has been called everything from a “pass around,” to a “thot,” to a “b*tch,” by the media over the last few months, should be well aware of the impact of such degrading words. However, I wouldn’t assume Alexis is homophobic as much as I would ignorant, this mostly just shines a light on an on going issue that many take too lightly in our communities.
Most people attempt justify their use of terms like “faggot,” by saying they “didn’t mean it offensively” However, that doesn’t make it okay. Not only does it show ignorance, but it also shows a concerning lack of intellect. Yes, context is important. Similar to the way you’d feel about those of another race using the “n word.”
It’s the implication behind it that is the problem.
If you are calling someone a faggot or gay, you are still using the term in a condescending, demeaning and often insulting manner. You never say, “This new guy I am dating is so fun and sweet! He always acts like such a faggot.”
“But it’s just a word!” Some people argue that by rejecting the word you could potentially give it more power, making it taboo or more controversial, and that they choose to use it as a means of “reclaiming” it. I am not suggesting you ban these words from your vocabulary; I am suggesting you don’t use them if you are doing so with the intent to insult.
You don’t get to impose your own meaning on words and use them on, or against, other people… at least not while holding the ignorant belief it will go without ridicule — that the context you’re using it in is excusable. You can’t reclaim something without a thorough understanding of where it came from and the problem surrounding it. And the fact that you use it so carelessly leads me to assume you don’t have that thorough understanding.
To you, it may be “just a word.” If so, you are fortunate. A lot more fortunate than others who have a lot of pain and suffering tied to it. Sure, it’s not a big deal to everyone, but just because it doesn’t affect some people doesn’t mean it isn’t your obligation to care about who it may — and why.
Be responsible. Hold yourself accountable. Pay attention to the words you use, the way you articulate yourself, and be aware of how the things you say may affect people around you. At the very least, take the time to understand the origin of a controversial term you use and the meaning it has for other people in our society before deciding not only whether or not you have the right to say it, but what feeling entitled to do so says about you.
With all that being said, shame on you Alexis Sky. It’ll be interesting to see how this situation plays out between Ray and Alexis as ‘Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood’ airs on VH1 Mondays at 8pm est.
